Friends, Family and More Driving

I was right about not being able to post. But it was a bit longer between posts than I expected! I'm actually finished with my trip and have arrived safely in Lee's Summit as of last night. Time just wasn't on my side when it came to posting (when I actually had internet access). I was super busy and when I wasn't doing something I was just exhausted and sleeping off the trip.

Here is a run down of my trip and some photos I took along the way.

Day 4 - 5 - October 21-22, 2013 - Springfield, Mo
Slept in! Recovered for most of the day from my 3 days of travel in the morning and then we went to Missouri State University campus (it was Southwest Missouri State when I was there). It was really a bit surreal to be on campus. It must have been the time of day but campus wasn't really that busy. So that was interesting to see. Peaceful even.

 

If you look closely you can see the band practicing. C was so excited as she did Band in high school.

 

It's Homecoming. At least it looked like that as the windows in the PSU were painted by different sororities and fraternities.

 

This is J and C (in order). Thanks for such a cool time you two!

 

The main walkthrough on campus that includes the library.

 

Scholar's House. This is where I lived my Freshman and Sophomore years.

 

I just love the old buildings and architecture.

Day 6 - 8: October 23 - 25, 2013 Osage Beach, Mo
Drove to my Grandma's house in Osage Beach. We hung out, worked on her (super hard) puzzle and talked for most of the first and second days. On Thursday we went out to eat at Outback with my Uncle B as it was his birthday. On Friday they took me to my cousin C's high school football game.  Here are some shots from the game. It was sooo cold but at least it wasn't raining. Apparently the game the previously week it was cold and rainy! They were miserable.

Day 9-11: October 26-28, 2013 Mattoon, IL
I unloaded all my things at my grandmother's and took her with me to visit my Uncle G in Mattoon, IL. She was already supposed to be headed that direction and I was able to help out with that. This 5-6 hour drive was a bit harder than my 8-9 hour days earlier on in the trip. Partly I think because I bit nervous driving with my Grandma making sure I didn't lead foot it. And partly because I couldn't play my crazy upbeat music as loud as I do when I drive or that I couldn't listen to my current book on tape because I didn't want to explain the whole story to Grandma. Not that I didn't enjoy being with my Grandma - it was just that I felt the time actually more because I didn't have my normal distractions. Not sure if that's a good way to describe it because I do pay attention to driving and don't want to make it seem like I didn't.

The time with my Uncle's family was mostly just hanging out time. I played with two of my youngest cousins La and Lo (my normal initials don't work when they have the same), played sorry with the two of them, my grandmother and my Uncle, and went to church on Sunday. It was a constant whir of energy when the house was full!

On Monday my grandma and I spent almost the whole day working on my family tree. I had been wanting to get it all down for myself for awhile and I spent nearly 6-8 hours just typing in information into a family tree. I was glad to get it down but I wish I had gotten up earlier so I wasn't doing it into the evening and could have hung out a bit more.

All in all I had a very nice time. I was mad at myself that I didn't get any pics with my Uncle, Grandma or any of the family... will have to make sure to do that next time. I did get a few pics of their gorgeous view before I left.

 

Day 12: October 29, 2013 Drive to Lee's Summit
I left Mattoon, IL at 8:30. I was excited because it was actually the earliest I've ever gotten going the whole time. This was great because it actually got me to Osage Beach to load up my car again earlier than I thought. And then with my Uncle B helping load my car we got it all loaded in 15 minutes and not the hour I expected. This helped to get me into into Lee's Summit before it got dark. That ended up being a good thing with the weather. I drove across Missouri in the sleet and rain and ended with driving for the last hour in almost fog. I took a few quick pics to show what I basically saw all day.

 

And so I arrived yesterday to hang out with my brother R and his wife C. It was a simple and nice night. And so what I needed after the long trip.

 

I slept in today and then unloaded my car and dragged half of it up to my room. I'm partially unpacked but have a long way to go. I ended up canceling plans on my two closest friends because I couldn't stand the thought of getting into my car (I even didn't go grocery shopping like I through I would). That and the fact that it was gloomy and rained all day I just didn't want to drive in it again. But my friend Al brought me a surprise since I wasn't meeting with him and my other friend Am. It was this gorgeous platter of fruit. Which was a nice supportive thing considering I am trying to eat healthy and while a cake or other desert would have been fun this was actually much better for me. It was also sweet to bring it by considering I canceled on them.

 

 

 

I'm excited to see them tomorrow for Halloween and "Trick or Treating" with Am's daughter N. I just hope this weather just lets up!

 

But as it is my Journey here is complete. I'm onto the next big journey - finding a job! It's gonna get real now. I'll be posting about that in the coming weeks. 

Old Comfortable Tennis Shoes

Day 3: Drive to Springfield:
By comparison to the past two days today's drive was a breeze. I even slept in later. Well at least I tried. At nine housekeeping knocked on my door because I forgot to put out the do not disturb card :(. Anyways I then just lounged around until I left at eleven. Of course I then ran into a ton of road construction. So I got into Springfield later than I would have liked especially since I actually had friends to meet. So sometimes its just better to stick to a plan.

It's amazing how quickly and easy it is to settle in with old friends. I vaguely remember a description in a novel about how old friends are just like a pair of old tennis shoes. They may be old but they are comfortable. Or something like that. Now that I wrote that out like that I'm not sure how complimentary the statement is exactly. I've known C and J since freshman year of college and therefore besides my two closest friends from high school are amongst my oldest friends. In fact I roomed with both of them my Sophomore year and then even moved off campus with C and another friend to our own house for our Junior year. C has opened up her home to me for the next 3 nights and that is where I'm posting from right now.

I can't believe that its been a little less than 10 years since we graduated college. As the concept of time has been something I've addressed several times in this blog I won't go into it again. It's just really strange to feel that it was just yesterday that we were all together in school and then deal with the fact that they are now both moms. In fact C's children are already in 2nd grade and Kindergarten. And well that is all just a trip because it doesn't feel like it is all possible. Anyways we all just started talking and the conversation just flowed for nearly 5 hours. It reminded me of how we did that a lot in college. Mostly into the weee hours of the morning. Which we didn't do tonight. C has to get up early for work and J has a 30+ minute drive back home to her family. So that leaves me as the final night owl. But really only because I'm still off on my timing. It's midnight here but a part of me still feels like its 10 - which it is in Arizona. I didn't think I'd have jet lag driving across country but here I am. I just feel blessed that C's house is set up that the guest room is in her basement and so my staying up later than her family isn't keeping them up... or at least I hope it's not. They've been amazing gracious with me letting me stay here, putting my packed car in their garage and giving me a remote so I can come and go as I please. I couldn't ask for better.

Tomorrow I think I'm going to drive around town. See if I can drege up any memories... And after C gets off work the three of us are heading over to campus to see all the changes. Even though they live in the same town that we went to college they haven't been over to it in years either. Then Tuesday I hope to be able to plan something for dinner with other college friends. I actually have to post on Facebook ASAP about it because unlike my usual nature of planning out everything I didn't get that far in setting up anything. As I told J tonight I was surprised by how quickly my trip seemed to just suddenly be happening. So hopefully I'll actually have some friends that are available! 

I'll be leaving town on Wednesday to head to my Grandmother's where I'll be staying through Saturday. Combining the fact that I don't think my Grandma has Wi-Fi and the fact that the next two days or so I just want to relax I'm not sure if I'll be posting again until maybe next weekend. So if I don't I'll try to do a thorough update in the next post.

Oh... and one more photo for this part of the trip. It wasn't the Welcome to Missouri sign. I don't know how I kept missing those signs! It's of the Welcome Center sign just cross the border.

I'm going to go ahead and post this without a review - I'm just a little too tired for it tonight.
So please excuse any errors.

 

 

 

Feeling Grown and Technology is Crazy

Day 2: Driving to Oklahoma City:
I woke up this morning at my crazy nice hotel. I used Hotwire for this trip and I paid less for the hotels for the past two days than the mid-priced hotels that I've stayed in for work. Last night I stayed in a Sheraton (this is funny to me because I accidentally told my family and few friends - that I stayed at a Radisson... I wonder why I shifted that in my head... or maybe that's just funny because I'm tired). And tonight I'm staying at a Hilton Garden Inn.

Anyways I packed up the car and in my readjusting of some of the boxes that shifted I jammed my finger up against my hope chest in the car and nicked it. It started to bleed like crazy and so I ended up actually using the emergency car kit that I bought for the trip. I then started driving out of Albuquerque.

Once past the city New Mexico and into northern Texas is a flat land that led me to lots of thoughts
 about what I was doing.

Look nothing!

 

I am driving cross country on my own! Its funny the things that make me feel my age. I for the most part go around still feeling like I'm 16 years old. I mean emotionally and physically I don't feel like a teenager. And for the most part mentally I normally feel like an adult. Especially when it comes to working, paying bills and caring for myself. But there are a lot of times where, for lack of a better way to describe it, I just don't feel like a grown up. This is something that I wonder if I'll ever get over - feeling younger than I am. I once asked my mother how old she felt and she said 25 so maybe someday I'll get to the point of feeling that age. Maybe after I've had kids and am in my 40-50s.

Anyways driving across the country on my own has made me feel very grown up! Its crazy how much of an adult I feel through all of this. From doctoring my finger calmly to driving very long hours cross flat land that's almost as bad as the deserts I had came from. With my job in Arizona I drove all over the state and there are huge sections of the state that is just numbing desert. Which is another thing that made me feel like an adult. This driving thing has been actually pretty easy. Almost like my "blinking" I've mentioned driving has been a breeze. But more than being an adult I think that more or less has to do with the training I've received over the last 7 years. My job basically took me from one end of the state to the other so I think I've just gotten used to it.

Along the way I saw fields of windmills that generate electricity. It was interesting to see. I tried to take a picture but I'm not sure they really came out.  Because they are white and the sky in the distance looks white they blend pretty well.

It was actually pretty amazing to see the windmills. And I continued to see them in patches throughout Texas. And in the meantime my phone chirped out how many miles I had to Amarillo and then later to Oklahoma. I used my navigation on my phone (in assistance of the printed out MapQuest) to assist me in getting to different stops along the way. In particularly the Cracker Barrels along the way. One of the things I learned in driving all over Arizona was that one of the easiest and cleanest places to use the restroom is in a Cracker Barrel. They inevitably are super busy in their front store areas so slipping in and not buying anything is pretty easy. And considering I liked getting the books on CD to use while driving this was always an easy stop for me and so I've continued to use this concept for this trip. Not to mention that since I packed my lunches for the trip it was super easy to eat them in their overly large parking lots. I also used the phones to get me to the hotels because having the phone tell me where to turn instead of trying to read the instructions (especially at night) helped a lot. And as I thought about it tonight I thought it was really quite extraordinary - this technology we have from the electricity making windmills to phones that are essentially talking maps. And I can't imagine living without these advances anymore.

I'm getting pretty tired. And considering I'm now on central time I've lost another hour! So I'll post this.  Oh but first a couple other photos of my journey.

TEXAS!

This is actually a HUGE cross. I think its supposed to be the largest cross in the US. I know it was supposed to be on this route (when I looked online for interesting things to see along the way this was one of the sites that was supposed to be directly off of the highway).

I just missed the Oklahoma sign! :)

A Full Schedule, Practicing Joy and My First Day of Driving

It's funny to think that now that I'm driving across country I now have the time to actually write a post. This past week has been non-stop packing and running around finishing up errands for the move. And the last thing I thought as I laid down to sleep last night was that I didn't post about this trip as I had planned.  So I told myself - You HAVE to post once you get to Albuquerque! Which given how long the drive is and the fact that with the time zone change it is so very late I really should be finding my way to bed.

So to get to the point:
The Plan - I will post about my trip along the way.  If I can figure out how to access blogger via my phone (it's acting weird about logging on - I tried today and it didn't work) then I'll do some short posts from the road:).  I will also put some photos (now that I know how easy it is!) that I've taken along the way.

Before the Trip:
I've been visiting with family and friends almost constantly for the last two weeks. And while it's been emotional I have not broken down. It's practically a perfect example of how far I've come in my journey. I cry at the drop of hat. I cry when I'm sad and I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm overwhelmed or overjoyed. I cry when I'm angry and I cry when I'm excited. But while I've leaked a bit in the past several weeks I haven't been bowled over by it even when some of my closest friends have been taking it harder than I expected.

And more than that everyone keeps asking me about how my mother is taking me leaving. And she really has been a trooper. When I brought it up to her again the other day (she had kept laughing it off the other times I had mentioned other people's concerns) she finally told me that it's about practicing joy. Being sad has no benefits to it and that I'm going on to the next stage of my life and that she supports that whole heartedly. Practicing Joy. This has stuck in my head for the last couple of days. I like the idea because I ultimately have learned in the past 2 years - that it's a choice to be happy. So the concept of practicing joy just feels very real to me.

Day 1- October 18, 2013 - to Alberquerque:
I got up and finalized my car and set out on my trip! My car is completely stuffed! My parents couldn't believe I packed as much as I did into it.

 

My mom had to leave earlier than when I left but I got up early to say goodbye and give her a hug. She gave me a prayer for the road that my grandfather used to say in his benedictions. I'd write it here but I left it in my car and I may want to keep it for myself... it was emotional but again I kept it together.

My step-father almost got me though... he was doing the "Dad" thing checking my engine and tire pressure. I had to step away and not dwell on it or my practicing joy might not have worked very well. I finally gave him a hug and hopped in my car, but not before almost pulling away with one of my doors open!!!

Ahh! The drive... it was good up until the last 2-3 hours. Then it just got weird. I stopped and got a photo of a land formation. And then when I got back on the road I missed the welcome to New Mexico sign as it must have literally been where I stopped but didn't realize it!

I then got turned around in Gallup, NM when I stopped to get gas. Which had me driving in the opposite direction for about 8 miles until I could exit and turn around. I still had 2 hours to go until Albuquerque and my reservation so I just kept at it. But it wasn't that bad because even though it was late I got to stare into the craziest thing: the full moon.

When it finally got dark it was like a flashlight on the road in front of me. SOOOO Bright!

Anyways, I finally arrived in Albuquerque thinking I did well considering it was 8:30 when I check in - only to walk into the hotel room and see the clock read 9:30... oh wait I'm in a different time zone. I forgot to take that into account :(...

So even though I normally stay up for another hour or so I'm thinking I should hit the sack because tomorrow is going to come way too soon.

"Blinking" and an Ebenezer

I am trying not to be frustrated with myself for not making my goal of a post every two weeks given how busy I've been tying up loose ends with work. I never thought how busy I'd actually be until I started finalizing and packing up 8 years of work. Not to mention all the last minute things I wanted to do or people that I've wanted to see. It's all been a little overwhelming.

A couple of weeks ago I was putting on make-up for the day when I actually looked at my reflection in the mirror - specifically my eyes and how clearly intent they were on the process of applying eyeliner to the bottom lid of my right eye. Suddenly I flashed back to another day when I was staring myself in the mirror. A much younger version of my self, probably half my size and a lot more unsure. At 10 years old I was at a very different place - not just physically (different state, house, etc.) but emotionally and mentally.  I was a scared abused girl who only wanted the pain to stop. I used to stare at myself in the mirror in the bathroom mostly after particularly bad incidences. As I stared I would blink my eyes. I used to think of life as these fleeting moments. I had this whimsical idea that I could just close my eyes really hard I'd open them and time would have fast forward to a more pleasant point in my life. I eventually used this idea to calm myself - I'd stare at myself and tell myself to breath in and out and blink - time would soon speed by and I wouldn't have to be in that particular moment again. 

Back in the present I finished up my make up, the mascara, the blush and hint of lipstick. I smiled at myself and thought of how fleeting the time really has been. One moment I was this innocent girl and the next a 32 year old grown women. In a humorous moment I thought maybe I really had been successful - I wondered about time travel - and if this thought process was a bit like it. Which just made me laugh out loud with my philosophical ideas.

The point of this is that I really feel like these past 8 years I've been blinking my way through life. Both through the good and the bad times. It's unbelievable how time flies. And that's precisely how I feel about the last two months. Once I confirmed and knew my end date at work it was like sand in an hourglass. And even though I planned on posting more I just didn't have the time. Every moment was spent doing something in preparation of my move.

Things have finally settled down now that the last day at my job was Friday. This past weekend was also eventful with last dinners or lunches with family or friends. But even in all that I also had an impromptu but inspiring moment with some friends through church. While lunching with them the idea of getting a tattoo arose through a friend who mentioned a special a local tattoo place was doing. This place is actually a Christian tattoo parlor that provides an everyday special of $30 cross. This exceptional price made me really start to think about it. I probably would have shrugged off the idea if it hadn't been for several things:
1) I had an inspired thought about what to actually get (see below).
2) My friend who said she'd go with me to get it.
3) And another friend, who isn't a fan of tattoos, saying that if this was to mark the progress I've made in my life and way to honor God in an altar - calling it an Ebenezer - that she'd support me.

So with one more caveat - I'd do it if they excepted a walk in and that I'd be able to finish it before a 6:00 pm dinner appointment I had - we went to Salt and Light Tattoo to get my tattoo. (http://www.saltandlighttattoo.com/) And low and behold one of the artists was able to fit me into his schedule.

My tattoo?

It's a cross made of nails (the cross I chose for the $30 special) and the verse Psalm 119:105 (which was extra).  "Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path." I think the significance is pretty apparent of why I chose the verse and the location.

In posting this I have to add the following information. When my friend started talking about putting a stake in the ground in remembrance for what I've experienced through God and all the hard work I've done in the last three years I could follow most of the conversation. I was pleased with the ideas being said because I was basically thinking the same things. Except for the comment of an Ebenezer or altar. I mean I understood the idea of building an altar to honor God but in all honesty I didn't understand the Ebenezer reference. So I was able to find online a sermon on an Ebenezer and the following definition and thoughts were listed in the introduction to the sermon (http://sermons.logos.com/submissions/12459-Ebenezer-Thus-Far-The-Lord-Has-Helped-Us-2#content=/submissions/12459).  An Ebenezer is a monument to God's faithfulness; a remembrance, an alter or memorial of a time or event where God intervened. When you have an alter experience you are altered. The power of an Ebenezer is in the revelation that God has intervened and you have chosen never to forget what He has accomplished. These three simple sentences encompass exactly what I wanted to do for the past couple years. I wanted a tattoo to mark the change I've been able to have since finding my way back to God and healing from my past. So while the above tattoo was a product of a quick conversation and decision it is really the result of years of careful thought and intent to honor God.

Well, I'm going to finish this up and say that with my last day at work last week and my upcoming move I think I'll be posting more - especially since I have the intent to post as I travel cross country. Probably shorter concise posts if I can manage being short and concise (smirk;) )

Also - I wanted to post about a free event that Salt and Light is hosting:
Noon Saturday, October 26 until noon Sunday, October 27. Its called Down 4 the Crown. The owner of Salt and Light is attempting to break a world record for doing the most tattoos in a single period. For $10 you can get a cross (see the website www.down4thecrown.com for details) and all proceeds will go to Streetlight USA to end Child Sexual Slavery. It's a really remarkable thing that he's trying to do as he is aiming for 1,000 tattoos. So if you want to support them they are having live music, food, and drinks. They are also doing face painting and temporary tattoos for kids.