A couple of weeks ago I was putting on make-up for the day when I actually looked at my reflection in the mirror - specifically my eyes and how clearly intent they were on the process of applying eyeliner to the bottom lid of my right eye. Suddenly I flashed back to another day when I was staring myself in the mirror. A much younger version of my self, probably half my size and a lot more unsure. At 10 years old I was at a very different place - not just physically (different state, house, etc.) but emotionally and mentally. I was a scared abused girl who only wanted the pain to stop. I used to stare at myself in the mirror in the bathroom mostly after particularly bad incidences. As I stared I would blink my eyes. I used to think of life as these fleeting moments. I had this whimsical idea that I could just close my eyes really hard I'd open them and time would have fast forward to a more pleasant point in my life. I eventually used this idea to calm myself - I'd stare at myself and tell myself to breath in and out and blink - time would soon speed by and I wouldn't have to be in that particular moment again.
Back in the present I finished up my make up, the mascara, the blush and hint of lipstick. I smiled at myself and thought of how fleeting the time really has been. One moment I was this innocent girl and the next a 32 year old grown women. In a humorous moment I thought maybe I really had been successful - I wondered about time travel - and if this thought process was a bit like it. Which just made me laugh out loud with my philosophical ideas.
The point of this is that I really feel like these past 8 years I've been blinking my way through life. Both through the good and the bad times. It's unbelievable how time flies. And that's precisely how I feel about the last two months. Once I confirmed and knew my end date at work it was like sand in an hourglass. And even though I planned on posting more I just didn't have the time. Every moment was spent doing something in preparation of my move.
Things have finally settled down now that the last day at my job was Friday. This past weekend was also eventful with last dinners or lunches with family or friends. But even in all that I also had an impromptu but inspiring moment with some friends through church. While lunching with them the idea of getting a tattoo arose through a friend who mentioned a special a local tattoo place was doing. This place is actually a Christian tattoo parlor that provides an everyday special of $30 cross. This exceptional price made me really start to think about it. I probably would have shrugged off the idea if it hadn't been for several things:
1) I had an inspired thought about what to actually get (see below).
2) My friend who said she'd go with me to get it.
3) And another friend, who isn't a fan of tattoos, saying that if this was to mark the progress I've made in my life and way to honor God in an altar - calling it an Ebenezer - that she'd support me.
So with one more caveat - I'd do it if they excepted a walk in and that I'd be able to finish it before a 6:00 pm dinner appointment I had - we went to Salt and Light Tattoo to get my tattoo. (http://www.saltandlighttattoo.com/) And low and behold one of the artists was able to fit me into his schedule.
My tattoo?
It's a cross made of nails (the cross I chose for the $30 special) and the verse Psalm 119:105 (which was extra). "Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path." I think the significance is pretty apparent of why I chose the verse and the location.
In posting this I have to add the following information. When my friend started talking about putting a stake in the ground in remembrance for what I've experienced through God and all the hard work I've done in the last three years I could follow most of the conversation. I was pleased with the ideas being said because I was basically thinking the same things. Except for the comment of an Ebenezer or altar. I mean I understood the idea of building an altar to honor God but in all honesty I didn't understand the Ebenezer reference. So I was able to find online a sermon on an Ebenezer and the following definition and thoughts were listed in the introduction to the sermon (http://sermons.logos.com/submissions/12459-Ebenezer-Thus-Far-The-Lord-Has-Helped-Us-2#content=/submissions/12459). An Ebenezer is a monument to God's faithfulness; a remembrance, an alter or memorial of a time or event where God intervened. When you have an alter experience you are altered. The power of an Ebenezer is in the revelation that God has intervened and you have chosen never to forget what He has accomplished. These three simple sentences encompass exactly what I wanted to do for the past couple years. I wanted a tattoo to mark the change I've been able to have since finding my way back to God and healing from my past. So while the above tattoo was a product of a quick conversation and decision it is really the result of years of careful thought and intent to honor God.
Well, I'm going to finish this up and say that with my last day at work last week and my upcoming move I think I'll be posting more - especially since I have the intent to post as I travel cross country. Probably shorter concise posts if I can manage being short and concise (smirk;) )
Also - I wanted to post about a free event that Salt and Light is hosting:
Noon Saturday, October 26 until noon Sunday, October 27. Its called Down 4 the Crown. The owner of Salt and Light is attempting to break a world record for doing the most tattoos in a single period. For $10 you can get a cross (see the website www.down4thecrown.com for details) and all proceeds will go to Streetlight USA to end Child Sexual Slavery. It's a really remarkable thing that he's trying to do as he is aiming for 1,000 tattoos. So if you want to support them they are having live music, food, and drinks. They are also doing face painting and temporary tattoos for kids.
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