Bold Assignment

Let me start by saying I've always loved to write and I have this immense desire inside me to one day write a book.  In fact, I have an outline and a good start to it.  However, its a huge undertaking and somehow I always seem to get distracted. 

Distraction is a huge issue in my life.  I have several half started projects throughout my apartment from scrapbooks from college (about 10 years old now) that need finishing to 10+ journals with attempts at longevity to I can't tell you how many other things... and again I am getting distracted.

In an effort to distract myself one day from something, most likely my writing, I stumbled onto something pretty wonderful on the Internet: a blog.  I'm not saying I didn't know what a blog was - I'm not too unaware about the world.  What I'm saying is that suddenly one was speaking to me.  Not sure exactly what blogging etiquette is here so I'm not going to mention names.  Let's just call it "A" blog.  Only because it was the first blog I followed intently.  In fact I went back and read from the very beginning.  This girl/woman spoke to me on another level.  Somewhere along the line she posted less frequently (turned out she was writing a book and then later was depressed for a time and didn't post) and suddenly I was at a loss.  What to do in my "spare" time (or the time where I should have been working on some project but was looking for a distraction)?  So I looked at blogs that "A" followed and that led me to "B" blog.  Now "B" was a more prolific blogger, been at the game for years as well as posting multiple posts per week.  I know because I went back and read them all.  It took me months, but I loved it.  And through "B" I found several other blogs that I occasionally frequent.  But "B" (and "A" now that she is back) are still my favorites. 

Anyways somewhere along the line I had this urge: I want to do this.  And maybe I'll be able to do it without getting too distracted.  Besides as much as I loved "A" and "B" and I could relate to so many of their stories about depression, anxiety and crazy families I wanted something... more.  I started looking for a blogger who both talked about real things and also took it further and talked about God, religion and finding truth.  But for me and maybe its the newness of my faith and the hesitancy I have about religion due to... well that will be a whole other post... in any case every religious blog I found was too staid or too pushy.  I'm not looking for a sugar coated Pollyanna view of religion and the world.  I wanted to read about a real woman's struggle to find purpose, love and God along with just the normal everyday comments about this strange, strange life.  And something... I like to think God... was telling me "Eve, you're going to have to do it yourself."

So that has been going through my head for several weeks.  And then two other things happened:

1) I've had an inspiring two weeks (another couple posts all by themselves) and in preparations for a two week vacation (I am SO ecstatic) I came up with this idea.  What about trying something new every day for two weeks.  I loved the idea, but got stumped around maybe idea #3...  I mentioned my half thought out plan to my coworker and "joked" that I should let her make me a list of things to do.  She jumped at it!  Maybe because it gave her about 20 minutes of not thinking about work (shh... don't tell the bosses) or maybe because it truly is an interesting thing to propose.  In the end she gave me a list of 28 things!  Good thing, because a lot of the things I cannot see me doing (full body wax anyone?!).  In any case #4 was "Start a blog writing about everything you have done."  I had to smile because that seemed like a cool idea for a blog - "100 new things in 100 days!"  And I was just about this close {---} to actually trying that!  But I thought that might be too exhausting!  Besides... I really did want to just start a blog about my life in general and not really focus on a gimmick. 

I started talking about with my friends and family about the possibility of doing a blog.  So many of them were excited about the endeavor - thought with how much I loved writing that blogging just made sense.  My church friends even thought it was great that I wanted to be the blog that I so craved to find!  The only person that was a little nervous about the blog was my mother.  Her concern is that someone from our past would be able to find me via this blog.  And it was this stunning thing for me.  Because for the very first time in my life I didn't even thing about that.  Always in the past, when I thought of my book I always worried about the possibility of someone I wanted to remain in the past coming back to haunt me once it was published.  But this time - for the first time - I had no fear.  Not because I think I can't be found.  That's naive view of the Internet.  But because for the first time in my life I know that my past is my past, I'm an adult now and I don't have to be afraid of the monster anymore.  And that is a story for another several (hundred?) posts. 

So I wasn't afraid - but still I hesitated until last night.

2) Last night I attended this "Being Bold in Relationships" seminar for the women at my church.  And this lady started talking about boldness in general and then specifically "Bold Romance", "Bold Parenting", and "Bold Friendships". She then went on to talk about bold actions like "Bold Giving" (which inspired some items on my "try something new list") and "Bold Assignment" to name a few.  The "Bold Assignment" felt like it was speaking directly to me when she said "If there is something that you feel has been nagging at you or put on your heart then you must do it even if it means a risk you will have to take."  That was the whole thing about BOLDNESS - for every bold move there is an amount of RISK that must be taken and it may pay out or it may not.  But the important thing is to try.

So this is my BOLD ASSIGNMENT.  This new blog.  This new beginning.

And I'll start by completing another BOLD ASSIGNMENT - I'm going to attempt 10 new things in the next 10 days.  Especially since A.D. (my coworker) is planning on being my first visitor.

Day 1 (I started a day early) - Monday, November 7, 2011:
I called someone I haven't talked to in a long time.  Granted it was my Uncle R. who had a heart attack this past weekend.  But given the fact that I have a weird relationship with my father's family it was sort of an unusual thing to contact him.  I'm giving that to me as my #1.  Also new thing #2 (not that it counts in the count as it was the same day) - I told him I love him... strange because I probably hadn't said those words to him ever before.  Also in the years before my Dad's death this past July, I probably hadn't said it to my own father in over 6 years - maybe longer.  And given that R is the uncle that reminds me of my father the most in looks and voice then this was a huge thing for me. 

Day 2 - Tuesday, November 8, 2011: 
I started this blog.  Now technically this post is going to be posted at like 1 am on Wednesday morning.  But that's because it took me FOREVER to name my blog.  I bought this AMAZING book called "Creative Blogging" by Heather Wright-Porto.  And so after reading about how to start a blog and the importance of finding the right name.  I went about the process.  I got stuck because the name I wanted... Essentially Eve (go look up essential - it's perfect!) was taken by another Eve?!  This Eve apparently decided to start a blog back in July.  She set up the blog connected her picture and I think an "about me".  But NEVER POSTED!  Uggh! Frustrated!  That was supposed to be my blog!  Anyways it took me hours of reading through the "e's" in the dictionary only to finally go with my number 2 title "Entirely Eve".  And that was only after I figure out a description tagline that made "Entirely Eve" make sense.  But my hours wasted in the "e" section weren't wasted - that's where I was reminded of the word ecstatically and it wouldn't get out of my head.  For awhile there the blog was going to be called "Ecstatically Eve" but I kept thinking that's a hard title to live up to!

Anyways... I think that's a good start to this chapter of my life.  Stay tuned... I haven't quite figure out what I'm to do tomorrow (or today) for my new thing!